funny-quotes

With his blond hair, broad shoulders, and perpetual tan,Bryce looked like a California underwear model. Not that I__ thought about him in his underwear.Much.

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn__ have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.

Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it.

And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Yo Mama__ so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, __lap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Now that NBC is giving him a sixth month "leave" I wonder if he will be "Killing Time-In Saudi Arabia!

What__ the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Forgiveness" Steroids for the Soul.

Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

Everyone has someone to call on when they're down, let me be that someone when that ones not around.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Look out Below!" Air Asia's catchy new advertising slogan.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

Yo Mama__ so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!