humor

When you__e given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough.

Don__ be stupider than you need to be, I remind myself. Remember Calease? The last glowing girl you talked to tried to kill you.

In matters of religion and matrimony I never give advice, because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.

A project is like love; it has clear intentions at the beginning, but it can get complicated.

If someone begins to sing, do not maintain eye contact. The general advice given to fellow travellers is thus: leg it.

Kiss my foot, sir; my face is for mouths of consequence.

Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.

Surround yourself with people who are the ketchup to your french fries-they make you a better version of yourself. Yes french fries are amazing on their own, but combined with ketchup they are a force. Spend time with people who bring out your true flavors, but don__ overpower you.

I though I screwed everything up," I say.He smiles. "You're only one person. In the whole universe. You can't screw everything up.

Please, be sure to display your stickers, so that I won__ misplace any of you. I lost a few people, while crossing the street, during the last tour. I didn__ think it was a big deal, but apparently, the boss frowns upon that sort of thing.

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

You are allowed to float around having no damned idea what you want to do with yourself with no actual time frame in which you need to figure it out.

[When asked for her advice to aspiring writers] Run! Just kidding. Sort of. Really, I think the best advice I can give is to wait for the book that compels you to write it-- the one that you eat, sleep, and breathe. If you try to force yourself to create an epic story, you will feel the ensuing drudgery quite acutely-- and worse, your readers will feel it too. Conversely, if you wait for the book that won't leave you alone until you finish it, your readers will feel that energy and it will make it difficult for them to put the book down until they have finished it!

Some general advice about writing:WRITE MORE, DO OTHER STUFF LESS.

You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two!

And besides_._._. I don__ want to leave you. Er, you guys.__e smiled, and it lit up his whole face. __ell, __e_ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I__ also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you__e in St. Louis.__ grinned back.

Your advice seems a little ironical.""Oh, you may either follow it or reverse it__hat is its chief beauty. It is equally good taken either way.