yous

Let's face it some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted I beg his pardon.

I explained to him I had simple tastes and didn't want anything ostentatious no matter what it costs.

I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion I think it must be gratitude.

I thank you for not snoring.

Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

I forgot they were talking about me. They sound so wonderfully convincing.

I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.

I really don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I've had a wonderful evening . . . but this wasn't it.

Nouvelle cuisine roughly translated means "I can't believe I spent ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry."

One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that would make you mad if it happened to you.

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Here's to one of the most beautiful kind thoughtful people I have ever known . . . You are getting more like me every day.

Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.