Stephen Lovegrove

You have not been given the task of creating something brand new from the vast world around you. All you are called to do is discover what is inside of you right now, the life you have been given. Once you find that, you can begin creating something external that aligns with and affirms your spark.

I couldn__ stop crying. This fact in and of itself alarmed me, because for so long, I hadn__ been able to cry. And now, here I was, weeping. It didn__ feel therapeutic. I know scientists promise that all the negative hormones are being released as you cry, but I didn__ notice my emotional stability rising as the tears fell. I just knew I was crying, and my whole body was shaking, and I couldn__ make it stop.

The biggest mistake people make in life is trying to be someone else. They never find themselves, so they never love themselves. Instead they find somebody else who they like a lot and try to be them.

I felt like a disappointment. I believed I had let my family down. Clearly, I was a screw-up. I couldn__ do anything right. It seemed I hurt people without even trying. I didn__ know better, but obviously, that proved I was stupid. I was so blind to what I was saying _. These were the kinds of thoughts going through my mind. And that was my first experience with shame. Huge difference.

The wisdom of hindsight would reveal that I had no clue how to find myself, no idea how to love myself, and no ability to be myself. Mix all of those three dilemmas, and you__e created a cocktail that will knock anyone out. Even though I couldn__ name those specific issues that night, I did own where I was to the best of my ability. That__ often all we can do in a crisis. So that night, I looked myself in the eyes and said, __t isn__ supposed to be this way.

Live that way long enough, and you will literally find yourself addicted to the acceptance of people. You will constantly need verbal affirmation. You will depend on always receiving a steady stream of invitations to events you don__ even want to attend. You will feel as though you need a significant other in your life at all times. I__ not exaggerating - this need for external acceptance will literally become an addiction. And that turns every one of your relationships - personal, professional, and romantic - into a codependent one. You are not in the relationship with a full heart able to give love away. You are in the relationship because you NEED it. You don__ know how you__ survive, much less thrive, without it. You are using every person to fill a void in your heart that you simply refuse to fill yourself. This is a mess.

Tolerance is the essential starting point for compassion. That__ why it is so emphasized in our society right now. In a world full of discrimination, prejudice, and marginalization, people need to be taught to tolerate people who are different. Tolerance, at the political, social, and cultural level, will prevent us from choosing speech or actions that harms other people groups, which is a definite win.

It__ easy to think that if we had a different house, different car, different job, different relationship, different city, everything would be different; that we would feel different then.The problem is, you are the main character in the story that is your life. No matter how much you alter the setting of that story, you can__ escape from yourself. There are many factors which contribute to your experience on this planet, but ultimately, you are the one creating your experience here. In order to get to the life you are here to live, you must begin by becoming the person you are here to become.

A belief is nothing more than a repeated thought which you have chosen to embrace and implement in your life.

You are a soul. You are a creator. You are an individual, absolutely and positively one of a kind. You are an energetic being of love with enough power inside of you to change this entire world forever.

It happened to me just this year with a beautiful boy I started hanging out with. Call me a hormonal teenager if you want, but evidently I haven__ grown out of this experience. His name, his voice, his face, his laugh - anything was enough to make my heart start beating faster. It__ the spark.

When a feeling hits, keep breathing. Let air flow through your body. Let your heart beat as it always faithfully does. And let the feeling pass through you. Maybe it will be momentary, or maybe it will spend the night. But it will not last forever. If you can be with it, sit with it, even if __t_ brings a lot of discomfort, that feeling will keep moving. It will move through you, and you will move on. You will move forward.

I knew who I was now. I had figured out how to love myself. And more and more each day, I was learning to be myself in the world. Life felt completely different, like I was sipping the perfection of a made-to-order drink that was exactly what I had imagined. As I looked up at the stars right then, I found myself saying, __his is what it was supposed to be like all along.

The good news is, shame has a kryptonite. Shame cannot survive under the power of love. Love defeats shame, every time. Love says that no matter what you did which may have caused guilt, you are loved. You are lovable. You are love itself. That is the truth. And because of that, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

My goal is to be the most magical person you know. I say that all the time, because it__ an idea that really does shape my daily life. But you might not have met me, or maybe you aren__ familiar with me at all. Still, I know that you have a person who has given you that feeling.

Here__ what I believe. We have control over ourselves at every single moment. We don__ control the world. We don__ control other people (or at least, we shouldn__.) But we are in control of our experience at all times.

Individuality is different than isolation. Isolation is trying to do everything on your own, living life by yourself. Isolation happens when you choose not to be involved in any communities, making sure you keep a safe distance from people in your life. I__ not recommending isolation. Science, psychology, and religion all suggest long term isolation is dangerous and unhealthy.

You have a spark. It is real. It is you. And right now, it is being activated. You cannot ignore the spark any longer.