funny-humor

After your daily bread, if you ask God for anything, ask 'him' to make you right in the head.

Laughter is the best medicine

Philadelphia is just the tip of the Pittsburgh.

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

Torn clothes are funny _ until your dad gets fired.

An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up.

Checked thoroughly, humans stink.

Believe you me, I am all for you; and wish you well - for you to go to hell.

Frankly, the only good people who I know are dogs.

The look in his eyes turned a little wild. "That's the only reason I'm letting you go. If I had any choice--""You do," she said "Wed can all sit here and let him die. Or you can let Eve go on her wild-ass rescue mission and get herself killed. Or you can let sweet, calm, reasonable Claire go do some talking."He shook his head. His long, elegant hands, which looked so at home wrapped around a guitar, closed into fists. "Guess that means there's no choice.""Not really," Claire agreed. "I was kind of lying about that choice thing.

Sometimes you just gotta wear the tinfoil hat.

You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult,_ I say and take a big gulp from the can. With his back to me, he says, __rust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I__ sure it__ better than anything I__ cooking out here.

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends.""We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man.""Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart.